just a hypothesis

one of my hypothesis is that the perfectionism wich is combined with this disorder cause them want the relation ship in the best possible way... so magic... soooooooooooo idealistic... so perfect.. it causes them to specify huge amount of energy to manage the relationship... responsibility, perfectionism, and need to control, hypersensitivity, alltoghether (and some other unknown factors) cause them to show anxious attachment style....
on the other hand their childhood experiences cause them to think that they are tiring the other one by this kind of attachment.. permenant monitoring ....so they try to inhibit themselves.. try to hide allllllll of their fears..... and their harm avoidance cause them to go backward in the relationship and become avoidant. then what is the out come???????????
ya!! u are right...
avoidance+ anxious attachment style may form a new type of attachment: ambivalent!!!
and of course this type may bother any boday.....
a one who is sooooooooooo caring becomes avoidant suddenly...
what happens next?
.
.
.

from now on...the diaries of a person with OCD/OCPD

HI
IT WAS FOR SOME TIME I WAS ABSENT AS I WAS PRACTICING MY THESIS SUBJECT!!!!
BEING INVOLVED IN AN INTIMATE RELATION SHIP....
HAVE U EVER SEEN A PERSON WITH OCD WHO IS IN A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP? WHAT DO THINK OF IT? OH... EVEN I WANT TO ASK THAT WHETHER U HAVE HAD EXPERIENCED BEING IN CLOSE RELATION SHIP WITH SUCH KIND OF PERSON?
... AS A PERSON WHO ASKS THIS QUESTION HERE AND THERE... THE MOST FREQUENT ANSWER IS: HEY... CAN THEY START AND INVOLVE IN SUCH KIND OF RELATIONS?
OH... THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING CLOSE TO PEOPLE...MOST OF THEM R SHOCKED WHEN O TELL THEM THAT A CLOSE CONNECTION MEANS ALOOOOOOOOOT TO AN OCD/OCPD ... THAT MUCH THAT IT MAY CAUSE THEM TO BE AFRAID OF ENTERING IT WITH THE FEAR OF NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD IT...
LAST YEAR TWO OF MY FRIENDS WITH OCPD DIVORCED... ONE OF THEM WITH OBSESSIONS GOT DEPRESSED.. THE OTHER ONE SAID THAT HE WONT CONTIUE BEING IN THIS RELATION ANY MORE.../
AND HOW ABOUT MYSELF...
???
DONT WAIT ANYMORE!!! IT'S SECRET...
I AM GOING TO TELL THE STORY OF THESE PEOPLE IN THIS WEBLOG FROM NOW ON... HOPE U LIKE IT ... HOPE U HELP ME TO ENRICH THIS STORY WITH YOUR EXPRIENCES... SO PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASE INTRODUCE ME IF U KNOW A PERSON WITH OCD/ OCPD WHO WISHES TO SHARE HER EXPRIENCES WITH ME...

BPD THERAPY

i am so interested in the metaphors used for the psychotherapy of BPD disorder:

emotional dance, re weaning a child securely... and such kinds of metaphors. 

the boundaries of words,the boundaries of worlds

For my eyes only: Gaze control, enmeshment, and relationship quality.

 
Petrican, Raluca; Burris, Christopher T.; Bielak, Tania; Schimmack, Ulrich; Moscovitch, Morris

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Dec 13, 2010, No Pagination Specified. doi: 10.1037/a0021714

Perceived closeness that preserves the distinctness of each partner enhances intimate relationship quality, whereas pseudocloseness or enmeshment—reflecting an inability to distinguish one's own thoughts and emotions from a partner's—may have more negative outcomes (R. J. Green & P. D. Werner, 1996). Two studies investigated whether a dispositional inability to differentiate self from other is manifested at the attentional level as reduced capacity to inhibit following the gaze of another (A. Frischen, A. P. Bayliss, & S. P. Tipper, 2007). Among healthy elderly spouses in Study 1, superior gaze control predicted superior sociocognitive functioning, and those with poorer gaze control abilities were perceived by the partner as constricting the perceiving partner's autonomy, which in turn predicted lower relationship satisfaction among the latter. Moreover, these links were mediated by enmeshment, as indicated by the percentage of “we”-focused versus “I”- or partner-focused thoughts and emotions in the partners' independent accounts of the same relationship events. Extending these findings in a sample of Parkinson's disease patients and their spouses, Study 2 revealed a biphasic effect of self–other differentiation on relationship dynamics: In the early stages of the disease, increased couple focus promoted superior relationship quality, whereas lack of self–other differentiation predicted poorer relationship quality later. Thus, dispositional variations in fundamental social-perceptual processes predict both close relationship dynamics and long-term relationship quality. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)

the sun and the desert 

landscape

the dance of sun rays on the see waves!

the diaries of a gold fish.....

the journey of the rivers

when the rivers join the see

math jokes

Theorem. A cat has nine tails.

Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.

 Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted?
A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his. 

A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician.
"How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly.
"Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...

Q: What is sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice...
A: Zorn's lemon...

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Q: What is polite and works for the phone company?
A: A deferential operator...

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Q: What is purple and commutative?
A: An abelian grape...

a lesson for ever

ownership...thats it! what i am struggling with these days. 

nothing belongs to you in this big big world. remember it! and everything will be okay

Siren of the police cars

He knows himself as a mere academic person with  scientific concerns ! he never attends in political conflicts…he pays no attention to social and political discussions…he believes these r just some kind of rabish. Last night , while crossing ther road he hears the sound of siren police cars for protecting the charectors….he just sits there…on the pavement an cries for half an hour!...who Is he actually? A simple unknown researcher or a recently  born revolutionist?

when the symbols let the cat out of the bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

when the untold overcome the words

when the sun shines....

persimmon

felling in love with psychotics moment by moment (a progressive love)... feeling good in mad house more than any where else in this world....getting familiar with madcap logic little by little....and...

in the middle of a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep exprience

the taste of calmness

the first night of calmness. the main duty of these days is tasting the meaning of the word" calmness" ....it tastes so sour! so sweet...so...just like a piece of "lavashak", you put it in your mouth. close your eyes and wait to experience the taste of it in your brain. in your heart. in your soul. you wish nobody disturb you. you wish nobody speak to you. as it is getting wet in your mouth, you are brought back to the time you were fetus. the only time you felt pure freedom and justice in your life. calmness tastes just like a piece of "lavashak". so sour,so sweet, so lovely, so memorable, ...and so inspiring!you put it in your mouth. close your eyes, and wait to be brought back to all the best moments in your life: it tastes as that piece of cake Marcel Prouest put in his mouth in "remebrance of times past"...it helps you jump(fly) many many steps ahead in completing your unfinished childhood.